Living in a world of 'what if'

'What if i have a heart attack' 'What if i go blind while i'm driving' 'What if i say something silly' 'What if i faint' 'What if i do something to embarrass myself'........ This is what goes through my head 24 hours a day 7 days a week! My brain never stops, I seem to of got into a habbit of jumping to the worst case scenario all the time, my headache isn't a headache its a brain tumor! Cramp in my leg isn't cramp its a blood clot! If i go out of my house something bad WILL happen. When did my brain stop being rational and introduce me to the world of what if's! Well obviously i know the answer to that, it was when anxious annie moved in with all of her baggage!

I can't actally remember what it was like to not always assume the worst situation possible, when a headache was just a headache and pain killers were the solution not brain surgery. I forgot to mention that Anxious Annie also has the ability to see into the future (she's a talented lady), when i have this headache that's a brain tumor i can start imaging trips to the dr's and telling my family i'm ill and going through horrific treatments and planning what'll happen to my son. So then i drive myself mad because in 30 seconds flat i've gone from a headache to planning my funeral! No wonder i'm so tired all the time all this brain activity is hard work!

So what do i do with all these what if's? As much as i can i try and let them float round my head and not give them the time of day, but sometimes its really hard and once i give any thought a little bit of my time it gets well and truly wedged in my head and there's just no shifting it, and it can be stuck there for weeks until i just haven't got the energy to worry about it anymore.