help help help!!

Its been playing on my mind for a while now that i can't really keep on struggling through life coping with my anxiety to the best that i can. My boy will be starting nursery later in the year which means there will be times when i am alone! EEEK that scares me, i'm most anxious when i'm on my own. So i need help! But what help?

I have tried various kinds of help i started with CBT with a brand new therapist i think i was her first ever patient, when i think back now its quite funny but she would just sit and read off paper to me and my sessions would last between 5 and 8 minutes!! After 6 very short sessions with her she felt i'd be better off seeing someone more senior than her. So here we go CBT round 2, the sessions were alot longer now, they were between 45 minutes and an hour. I'm not sure how much more helpful i found these sessions as the therapist thought this would be a good time to discuss her recent divorce!! 15 sessions later i felt i'd given her all the councilling on divorce that i could and it was now time for us to part company.

So maybe therapy like that isn't right for me? I was offered group therapy which i attended (shame no one else did) so that came to an end. So i'm left floating through life wondering what my next move should be. I own several self help books, that when i'm motivated and in the mood to concentrate i do read and it helps me to read other people's experiences of anxiety and reassures me i'm not the only one that feels like this. I'm not sure self help books are my miracle cure though.

Well that leaves medication! Which so far has been a big fat no for me. I don't take medication, i have anxiety which means that i will read the leaflet that comes with all medication and am absolutely convinced that i will suffer every side effect and possibly some more! I also feel like i won't be me if i'm taking medication, i'm not sure that even makes sense when i say it out loud but it makes sense to me.

So i guess this leaves me back where i started...... searching for the 'thing' that works for me.